Not Quite Zen

{But Working On It}

Just a modern day momma trying to find the balance between life's craziness and zen, with a little bit of fun along the way.

Finding What's Right For You

Remarkable. That's Me.

Many people look at me, I wonder what they see. Do they see a woman, a wife, Or a simple mother of three? A remarkable being, Is what I hope to be. I’m not built like a model, Or as tall as a tree. But I am as rare as a gem As sweet as a honey bee. I am a remarkable woman, My loved ones would agree. It’s the love that I give, The hugs they receive. The food that I cook. And the goals I help them achieve. I am classy, intelligent, Ambitious and sexy. I am charismatic, creative, Selfless, and sometimes cheeky. When people look at me, I already know what they see They see a remarkable woman, a dutiful wife, And a wonderful mother of three.

The Center of Your Own Universe

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Love The Skin You're In...

Today I really wanted to write about loving the skin we are in.  I got ready to do a little photo shoot with my husband.  I needed to feel sexy.  I needed to look how I felt.  I was super excited because I had all these ideas in my head on what poses to strike and how I wanted my photos to look.  I was gonna be a bad ass chick.

The reality...I hated the pictures.  I looked horrible.  I looked fat.  My face looked tired.  My hair was stringy.  Any flaw you could think of, I found it.  It was so discouraging.  My husband on the other hand thought I looked hot.  He thought the pictures were great.  So what was wrong with me?  How can I tell people to love the skin they are in if I am so unhappy with mine?

About 1 year ago I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy.  Unfortunately, I had to have a c-section for the third time.  So my stomach has never been the same.  I am sure most of it has to do with genetics, since I see many woman who have had c-sections and were able to bounce back.  But that's all good.  This is what I have to work with, so I am not going to wish I had anyone else's body.  But, for some reason, this time around, this "baby weight" (if that's what you want to call it) has been so difficult to loose. Why is it so hard for me to really stick to a routine the way I have been able to do in the past?  To be honest, I stopped weighing myself.  Seriously.  That number was just too depressing to see. So basically it was one of those "out of sight, out of mind" deals.  So that is what happened.  I stopped thinking about it.  Until, I saw those pictures.

Now, I have 2 beautiful girls to raise.  I want them to grow up loving themselves no matter what.  I want them to see a confident, strong, beautiful woman when they look at me.  I have to give them something to look up to.  I have to teach them the right way to treat your body by actually practicing what I preach.  And if there is one thing I want them to learn, it's that it is more important to be healthy, than to worry about how skinny your are.  I want them to feel good about themselves.  I want them to love who they are and how they look.  When I was growing up, I always wished I looked like my friends.  They were skinny and could wear whatever they wanted. I was always the chubby one in the group.  Trust me, this is really embarrassing to admit.  But if I am going to do this, I have to be brutally honest.  Fully exposed...well, not fully.  You get the idea. I have always struggled with self confidence.  My husband can vouch for that. So today I am taking a stand.  I am making a promise to myself.  No more being sad about how I look.  No more struggling to find clothes that fit nice. No more being out of breath when I run around with the kids. No more feeling ashamed and ugly. I always tell people "if you are unhappy with something, then change it". Only I have the power to do something about it.  So I will.

Parts of finding my Zen is achieving inner peace and spiritual growth.  This is a journey that I must go through. This is something that I have to do for myself and my family.  I need to be the best version of me, so that I can be the mother and wife my family deserves. The first step is to cut out the bad.  That means chips, soda, fast foods, etc.  I need to just stop with all the junk.  Being at home with the baby makes it too easy to snack on all that crap.  So I am going to change what I have in my house to eat. Step two, I have to keep active. So I am going to start going back to the gym.  I mean, I am paying for this damn membership for a reason. Step three, stick with the damn plan.  Following through is going to be the hardest part.

So with that said, this is just the beginning. I need to love the skin I am in.  I am not quite there, but i'm working on it.



  1. So many women can relate to this, I know I certainly can. We tend to be our worst critics, forgetting that we were created whole. I'm learning that no matter how much I 'fix' myself, unless I accept me for who I am, I will be unhappy no matter what. Acceptance truly is the key. Great post.

    1. Thanks. That's why I want to do my best to teach my children to accept themselves and to focus on being healthy above everything else. But it's a work in progress.
      Thank you for stopping by.

  2. I think it is great that you are teaching your daughters this and you are trying to work on this yourself!

    1. Yes. It's a work in progress because I have struggled with my insecurities for a good portion of my life. But now, is as good time as any to begin the journey. Thanks for commenting :-)