Friday, November 14, 2014
Shocking Statistic
A few days ago I read something in a magazine that really had me thinking. It said that once you have children, the happiness in your marriage decreases by 70%. 70%! That is huge. Is it really true? Can children really be that detrimental to a marriage. Children are supposed to be gifts from God and the embodiment of a couple love and devotion to one another. How can something so precious be the reason for such unhappiness?
I will be the first one to admit, Once the hubby and I had our first child, it was NOT a walk in the park. I honestly do believe that we were very, VERY close to calling it quits. My husband was still going through college and we both went back and forth between living in his grandmothers house and my mother’s apartment. Our oldest child was colicky. So the constant crying only made matters worse. It was tough. Of course there is always going to be some adjustments and some getting used to when there is a new baby. Especially for my husband, who had never had to really deal with an infant almost his entire life. But you know what? We made it through.
Here we are 3 children later and happy. Don’t get me wrong. Life was not always rainbows and unicorns. We have had plenty of rough patches. And I am sure there will be more to come. But that is what being married, or being in any relationship for that matter, is all about. You are going to have disagreements. You have to take the good with the bad.
Ok, now back to the subject at hand. It is very unfair to blame the decrease of your happiness on your children. True, you are not able to just get up and be spontaneous the way you used to. But that doesn’t mean that you should give up on trying to make each other happy. You just have to get creative. Maybe all you need is a little spice to bring the spark back. Remember those days before the baby (or babies), you couldn't get enough of each other. You were at it like rabbits. Well, try and relive some of those moments. Remember how it felt to receive a text, or love letter from your man. How sexy you felt when he couldn't keep his hands off of you? Try surprising him with some sexy lingerie tonight. Once the kids are in bed, surprise him and get a little frisky. Give him a nice sensual massage (if you are lucky, you will get a nice rub down in return). I know, I know. You have been running around all day at home with the kids. Busy trying to figure out 4th grade math to help your child with homework. Rushing to get a nice home cooked meal on the table. How are you supposed to have the energy to please your man as well. It is true, the effort should come from both sides. But unfortunately, many of us are not as lucky to have a man that is on point with the whole romance and “cater to your woman” thing. Some men just don’t think the way us women do. So it is up to us to keep the passion alive. And, hopefully, he will follow suit and give you a few surprises as well.
Be that sexy housewife
Remember, men want a lady in the streets, but a freak in the bed (thanks for that little tip Luda). So go ahead and get freaky. Don’t let parenthood strip away the happiness between you and your man. You just have to put the effort in. I am still working on making sure I don’t forget about my man. Sometimes I am dead tired, but I remember how important it is to make sure that my husband and I still share that passion for one another. Our marriage is not perfect. But I am still very happy and very in love with my family. This is my life. It’s Not Quite Zen...but i’m working on it.
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